life

Hello again.

It seems since I began this blog, all I can do is to sit down, or lay down in bed to write whatever is at that moment traveling through my mind. Before I go on any further, I would like to thank everyone who has posted any comment on here, let alone read anything I have written. To a writer, or really to anyone who puts his soul into something and having it appreciated is truly one of the greatest gifts one can receive.

I have thought very long and hard on the old man who spoke to me in my dream. And even now, I cannot explain what, or who he was. Was he simply a figment of my imagination? If so, how is it that I never met him before? Was he a representation of everything I have been taught by living, by parents, friends, and loved ones? Or was he truly a spirit of an unseen world who came to my aid when I most needed him? I had a conversation about this dream with my brother, and he found it very interesting and drew comparisons to his sifu's (kung fu teacher) philosophy that he adheres to. He is a follower, or believer in Taoism. "Tao is believed to be the influence that keeps the universe balanced and ordered." – Wikipedia. He further explained that when in the dream state of mind, one's spirit or soul goes to the dream world, or the spirit world, and it is there that perhaps I met, or was approached by this elderly man. Perhaps that is what happened here. However, I cannot shake off the feeling that the old man had always been behind my right shoulder, always watching over me, always knowing what I was going to do next. I simply did not bother to look at him until last night when everything became clear to me.

My dear sister-in law posted a very beautiful comment on my "dreams" post. "Consider yourself lucky for being able to dream, to remember, to wake up the next day, and to understand. Life has never meant to be fair. Life is to live it, simple as that." Which is why I would like to write about life, and my understanding of it as of this moment.

Many will consider life unfair. For those born into privilege they may consider it fair. For those who have fought for it and reached their desire, they may consider it tough, but fair nevertheless. In my younger years, I truly believed that there did not exist such a thing as unfair. Where I grew up, homeless people did not exist. Everyone had roof over their heads, could attend the best schools, and received world-class health care. Some might say I was blind to the unfairness, to the toughness of life. Then I moved here. I was shocked, and appalled to see homeless people, sick people without care. This is when I realized not everyone is lucky to be born into a family that can provide everything you need, and some are left in the dust. My optimism though kept growing somewhat falsely. I began to believe blindly in that anything was possible. Then I ran into a wall, stalled, stumbled, and almost crashed. When this happened to me, I began to believe life was not fair. It was happening to me, so it must be true. I began to feed my doubts, my fears, and thus my problems grew, and grew, and grew. Until last night.

Thinking back the old man, what he represented, and the few words he uttered, I have come to a new realization. Life is not fair, nor is it unfair. Life just is. It does not move to help one, or to disadvantage another. Life does not work with such a "human" purpose. Life is what it was. Life is what it is today. Life is what it will be tomorrow. The unfair, and fair aspects are human creations. The environments we live in, the choices we make, are all our own doing. If I do not study for a test today, and receive a poor grade tomorrow, that is not life being unfair. That is allowing myself to become "burnt" and the consequences are what I allow myself to label as life being unfair. Any, and every choice one makes has a consequence. It is the law. It cannot be changed, nor altered, or tricked. As I remember his eyes, and his firm words, I have come to realize that as individuals we have to choose wisely when making our choices. When we do wrong, we have a choice to learn from it, and to build on it. As my sister in law said it best, "life has never meant to be fair". And I would like to add on to that, Life just IS.

Be kind, be gentle, show patience, and be prepared to face your consequences. If your actions were good, your consequences will have the same result. Until next time, I bid you adieu, and as always, thank you for being my friends.

yashar