Last night I was visibly upset from the day's events. Fortunately for me, I have an amazing wife who truly is a pillar of strength as she lent me hers when I most needed it. This morning when I woke up, I woke up with an amazing outlook on life. What I saw as despair and perhaps loss of hope last night has turned into a renewed sense of hope. I am invigorated now to go out and do what I was meant to do in this world.
Some may ask, where did this renewed sense of purpose spring from. To be quite frank, it began with my conversation with my father yesterday, to my mother's words of encouragement, and finally to my wife's strength whom I borrowed from. But, and there is a but here that my mind is still trying to make logical sense out of. Right before I woke up I had a dream, a very strange, but peaceful dream, but somehow it all made sense to me.
In my dream, I was sitting on the floor with simple clothes, perhaps they might have been robes of some sort. I was preparing something very important for a visitor, or a grand master. It appeared as though it were dough of some kind. I could not tell you if it were for baking, or if it really was a type of wood I was treating. What I remember very vividly are the feelings that were running through me. It was fear, anxiety, indecisiveness, blindly just doing something. And then, right before I was to present this dough, or wood to this visiting grand master, it became black on one side. Not the whole side, nor the backside. But the area which I was working on the most diligently on with fear and anxiety mixed in is what burned. When it burned I panicked, I did not know which way to turn, and how I would ever present this, and felt that all that I had ever done was in vain. I wanted to turn the dough/wood over so the blackened area would not be presented to this important visitor. But before I could even do what I was thinking, a very old man dressed in simple robes, who looked like a Buddhist monk, told me to stop. He told me not to do what I was about to do. Instead he looked me in the eyes with understanding, and with wisdom older than time itself and said, "If you try to hide your stain by turning it over, all one has to do is to look at the other side." I understood him, but rather than become calm, my despair increased as I told him desperately that I needed to present something, anything to hide the stain and get what I wanted. Again he looked at me with patience and understanding and told me to build on top of the stain. I looked at him quizzically, to which he replied, "You must build on your stain. To hide it will not work, to start over is not possible. When you build on it, you will make it stronger, stronger than ever before, and stronger than anyone else's. Only then will you receive what you seek." "But my stain will still remain, how should I remove that?" I said to the old man. "That you can never remove, but to despair will get you nowhere, and to hide it will expose you, making you weaker, more fragile than ever before. But to build on it, to make it stronger, and to keep the stain is what you must do. Your stain will remind you of what you must not do again, it will be a reminder of what to avoid, and it will make you stronger for knowing that life has it pitfalls, as well as its glorious moments."
I woke up, suddenly knowing everything I should at that very moment. My despair had been washed away; my anxiety was but a memory. And what I once thought as inevitable yesterday, seemed more possible than ever today. The best feeling I can describe being similar to this experience is when you take a dive into a fresh lake. As you experience the heat and sogginess of summer warmth, the lake offers a refreshing experience, washing away everything that felt stuck on you.
I do not know if this was a divine experience, a spiritual experience, or simply my mind making sense of everything that I have been taught throughout the years from my parents, school, reading, my brother, my wife, and life itself. Somehow though, my mind was able to sift through everything to deliver a very important message that I needed to hear and be told.
Until my next post, I wish everyone a great life filled with hope, and love. If you have both, nothing is impossible so long as you apply yourself to do what needs to be done.
Some may ask, where did this renewed sense of purpose spring from. To be quite frank, it began with my conversation with my father yesterday, to my mother's words of encouragement, and finally to my wife's strength whom I borrowed from. But, and there is a but here that my mind is still trying to make logical sense out of. Right before I woke up I had a dream, a very strange, but peaceful dream, but somehow it all made sense to me.
In my dream, I was sitting on the floor with simple clothes, perhaps they might have been robes of some sort. I was preparing something very important for a visitor, or a grand master. It appeared as though it were dough of some kind. I could not tell you if it were for baking, or if it really was a type of wood I was treating. What I remember very vividly are the feelings that were running through me. It was fear, anxiety, indecisiveness, blindly just doing something. And then, right before I was to present this dough, or wood to this visiting grand master, it became black on one side. Not the whole side, nor the backside. But the area which I was working on the most diligently on with fear and anxiety mixed in is what burned. When it burned I panicked, I did not know which way to turn, and how I would ever present this, and felt that all that I had ever done was in vain. I wanted to turn the dough/wood over so the blackened area would not be presented to this important visitor. But before I could even do what I was thinking, a very old man dressed in simple robes, who looked like a Buddhist monk, told me to stop. He told me not to do what I was about to do. Instead he looked me in the eyes with understanding, and with wisdom older than time itself and said, "If you try to hide your stain by turning it over, all one has to do is to look at the other side." I understood him, but rather than become calm, my despair increased as I told him desperately that I needed to present something, anything to hide the stain and get what I wanted. Again he looked at me with patience and understanding and told me to build on top of the stain. I looked at him quizzically, to which he replied, "You must build on your stain. To hide it will not work, to start over is not possible. When you build on it, you will make it stronger, stronger than ever before, and stronger than anyone else's. Only then will you receive what you seek." "But my stain will still remain, how should I remove that?" I said to the old man. "That you can never remove, but to despair will get you nowhere, and to hide it will expose you, making you weaker, more fragile than ever before. But to build on it, to make it stronger, and to keep the stain is what you must do. Your stain will remind you of what you must not do again, it will be a reminder of what to avoid, and it will make you stronger for knowing that life has it pitfalls, as well as its glorious moments."
I woke up, suddenly knowing everything I should at that very moment. My despair had been washed away; my anxiety was but a memory. And what I once thought as inevitable yesterday, seemed more possible than ever today. The best feeling I can describe being similar to this experience is when you take a dive into a fresh lake. As you experience the heat and sogginess of summer warmth, the lake offers a refreshing experience, washing away everything that felt stuck on you.
I do not know if this was a divine experience, a spiritual experience, or simply my mind making sense of everything that I have been taught throughout the years from my parents, school, reading, my brother, my wife, and life itself. Somehow though, my mind was able to sift through everything to deliver a very important message that I needed to hear and be told.
Until my next post, I wish everyone a great life filled with hope, and love. If you have both, nothing is impossible so long as you apply yourself to do what needs to be done.
"To hope is to believe. To believe is to do. To do is to learn. To learn is to know. And to know is to hope, and thus the circle continues"
yashar
3 comments:
And this is how Yashar received his first spiritual moment ;) haha…. jk my little writer
Your wife
That was beautiful...I had an uninspiring day today. Reading your post changed that however. I'm so glad you had the dream, it touched you the way it did and am thankful that you shared the experience
Well done =)
Min Min
consider yourself lucky for being able to dream, to remember, to wake up the next day, and to understand.
Life has never meant to be fair.
Life is to live it, simple is that.
Take care and keep dreaming :)
P
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